Ode to the TMI Girl

Look, we've all been there. We've been to the place where we drink too much and we let just a liiiiittle too much information get to a stranger. But this girl, this girl, she takes the cake. Here is the scene: My co-workers are outside at our favorite bar in Arlington, and this girl comes over and talks to us.....

Her: Oh holy shit, it's so cold. I used to live in Florida; I'm not used to this shit.

Us: Where in Florida are you from?

Her: I'm not from there. I was adopted. Three years ago I finally found my birth father. He lives in Ocala, Florida [This may or may not be a real place]. He has liver disease and is going to die. It turns out I have a sister who is 5 years older than me and a brother who is 3 years younger than me.... but they kept them!! HAHAHAHHAHA. My therapist and I are working that out. So many issues. Wow.... I'm drunk. I shouldn't be telling you guys this. I mean, I've been divorced for 10 years too! Hahahahaa!

Us:.......

Her: I'm Katie. I work at Hard Times. Come visit me! Wow, I've been off work for two hours and I'm WASTED.

Us: ................

Me: Thank god I have a blog.